Let they who are without sin cast the first rebuke

Those of faith or into theology at all no doubt know this portion of the Mary Magdalene story. Men are prepared to stone her and Jesus shames them all by exposing the sin in their hearts. Couple this event and its metaphor with “Judge not, lest ye be judged” and we have a basis for rethinking rebuke.

What then, is rebuke in the name of shaming a person into repentance and change, if not casting stones at a person’s soul? Please note that I’m speaking particularly from a religious perspective; an implied or threat that someone faces hell if they do not comply with what you believe is a lacking in their soul. Pelt a person enough with these stones and, depending on the kind of person they are, you wear them down and burden them with their walk more than you uplift. Especially because you are not perfect yourself, and the implication is that their sin outweighs yours, a person feels themselves sink in sin rather that being uplifted with grace and forgiveness.

The playing field would be far more even and fair if all our sin, all that which we admit and that we do not, was freely accessible to those who we seek to rebuke. Let’s face the fact that this is not the case, and pose that if both we and the object of our rebuke were aware, we would be shamed into silence for daring to speak about the peril of another person’s soul when we’re not aware of the shortcomings that bring peril to our own. Anything else is likely a failure of humility.

So where does that lead us, are we not allowed to speak out at all? Not at all. All I am saying is that rebuke that seeks to point out the peril a soul places itself in for an act likely imperils the soul that points it out. I believe the the path lies through a few guidelines:

Beware of offering unsolicited rebuke. If someone comes to you and is looking for your advice, by all means point out the obvious, but direct with positive alternatives, rather than harshly rebuking the status quo. Show how their choices effect their life negatively, rather than cast aspersions on their afterlife, which is not your domain anyway. If it is not unsolicited, take a cue from the prodigal son parable, sometimes people need to discover things for themselves. If you await to welcome them home, they’ll be all the more appreciative of your unchanging love and in it see God’s love reflected in that light.

If their behaviour effects you, be honest about that impact, but again don’t place threats on their soul on God’s behalf, that is not your domain. If the behaviour continues you may have to turn the other cheek or remove yourself from the situation.

Remember that, like the sabbath, the law was made for man, not man made for the law. At it’s purest it serves us as the guidelines for living with love towards each other. Emphasize the positive outcomes from change they can see, don’t dangle the carrot of heaven, which makes a commodity of salvation. At best, take guidance from the Holy Spirit to offer a parable they can relate to, that was Jesus’ most effective method of communication. Ask for a new parable even, the world could use them.